End-of-life care is one of the hardest journeys families ever face. The decline of a loved one brings not just physical challenges but emotional weight, uncertainty, and often silence around what death really looks like. Too often, families are left unprepared for the signs of active dying, unsure of what to do or say, and struggling to create peace in those final days.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. With honest guidance, planning, and compassionate presence, caregivers can turn fear into dignity and uncertainty into calm. That’s where Sheila Burke comes in. As an End-of-Life Doula, Sheila supports individuals and families during life’s most vulnerable stage, bringing both lived experience and professional expertise.
Meet Sheila Burke — End of Life Doula, Sheila has walked the path of end-of-life care personally and professionally. Her work focuses on guiding families through dying with dignity, presence, and compassion. She brings practical tools, emotional support, and wisdom shaped by her own journey of losing her husband to cancer.
One thing I wish caregivers (and all family members) knew is what Active Dying looks like. Every family I’ve worked with has needed this information. But when you’re grieving a terminal diagnosis and absorbing new details, you don’t always remember it.
That’s why I began putting everything in writing. Families could revisit it, and many told me they would have missed their loved one’s passing without that guide. That’s also why I wrote my booklet Active Dying—to help doulas, caregivers, families, and dying people themselves. Hospices now use it to support families earlier in the process.
I always talk directly to the dying person. We ask: How do you want your last days to look? Atmosphere, sound, light, smell—it all matters.
Some ways families create peace include:
These plans ensure the person feels heard and respected, while families have a clear roadmap for honoring their wishes.
That loss for words is actually a gift—it invites listening. What people most need at the end of life is to be heard: to share thoughts, fears, or memories without interruption.
You don’t need to fix anything. You don’t need the perfect words. Presence and silence often mean more than advice. Just be there, fully, with them.
– Sheila Burke
Most people wait too long. Ideally, these conversations happen while we’re still healthy. But a terminal diagnosis often leaves little time.
My first question to new clients is: Do you have Advance Directives? A Will? Most don’t. If your loved one is hesitant, share your own wishes first. By saying what you want, you make the conversation less intimidating and more human.
Hospice is invaluable, but their focus is medical—and their time is limited. Nurses, aides, social workers, and chaplains do their best, but visits are short.
Doulas provide what medical care often cannot:
Hospice cares for the body. Doulas complete the circle by caring for the spirit, emotions, and relationships.
Sheila’s insights remind us that end-of-life care is not just about medicine. It’s about presence, planning, and honoring the human experience of dying. Caregivers often feel unprepared, but with guidance, they can provide dignity and peace instead of fear and confusion.
The shift begins with open conversations, early planning, and recognizing that death—like birth—deserves care, attention, and respect. When doulas, families, and medical teams work together, the final chapter of life can be one of love, calm, and connection.
The future of healthcare will not only be about systems and regulations but also about people listening to their stories, empowering them to advocate for themselves, and supporting them with both knowledge and compassion. And as Liz reminded us, that future is already being built today by professionals who are willing to lead with authenticity and hope.
Sheila’s path to becoming an end-of-life doula began with personal loss. In 2019, her husband Shane was diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer. Supporting him through hospice at home shaped her belief in dignity, respect, and love during dying. That experience inspired her book Bullshit to Butterflies and later her decision to become a doula. Sheila now helps families prepare for and navigate death with compassion. She facilitates planning, creates peaceful environments, and ensures no one has to leave this world alone. Her booklet Active Dying is widely used by hospices to guide families through the final stage of life. For Sheila, this work is about giving people the one last gift they deserve: to leave surrounded by love, respect, and presence.
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