When someone you love is diagnosed with dementia, it feels like the ground gives way beneath you. The future looks blurry, everyday routines suddenly feel heavier, and the questions keep piling up faster than the answers. Many families imagine the illness will follow a straight path, step by step. But dementia doesn’t work like that. One day can be peaceful, the next filled with confusion, frustration, or unexpected grief that comes long before loss.
In moments like these, families don’t just need medical facts. They need a guide. Someone who can sit with them, listen without judgment, and remind them they don’t have to walk this road alone.
That’s exactly what Paula Blanchard offers. With over twenty years of work as a Certified Dementia Practitioner, Care Navigator, and End-of-Life Specialist, Paula has helped countless families find their footing at every stage of the dementia journey, from the shock of diagnosis to the deep planning that comes later.
Here’s what she had to share.
The first truth I share is simple: this journey is not linear. Families often expect a steady decline or a clear roadmap, but dementia doesn’t follow neat lines. There will be good days and hard days, setbacks and small victories, moments of connection alongside stretches of frustration.
When I meet with families for the first time, I make space for their emotions. The shock, the sadness, even the anger. Naming those feelings matters. Once caregivers hear that what they’re experiencing is normal, I can see the relief in their faces. They realize they’re not alone anymore. They have someone walking beside them.
Grief begins long before the final goodbye. This is called anticipatory grief, and it’s one of the hardest parts of dementia care. Families often feel they’re slowly losing pieces of the person they love — memory, independence, or even personality — while that person is still alive.
The challenge is that most caregivers don’t recognize this as grief. They think they’re just tired or overwhelmed. In reality, they’re mourning losses as they happen. By teaching families about anticipatory grief, I help them name what they’re feeling. That knowledge doesn’t take away the pain, but it allows them to be gentler with themselves and let go of unnecessary guilt.
– Paula Blanchard
For me, person-centered care always begins with one question: what matters most to this person and their family right now?
In medical settings, it’s easy to get caught up in test results or treatment plans. In community settings, the focus often shifts to available resources. But the heart of good care is aligning plans with values.
Sometimes the top priority is safety. Other times, it’s staying at home as long as possible, attending a wedding, or simply being able to get dressed independently. Once those values are clear, I build care plans around them. That way, the care is not only clinically sound but also meaningful.
Without a doubt. Training gives caregivers tools. Instead of stumbling through trial and error, they have strategies to fall back on. That makes the whole experience less frightening and far more manageable.
The training that makes the biggest difference usually falls into three areas:
Hope and resilience don’t come from pretending things aren’t difficult. They come from steady support and trust. I help caregivers focus on small wins — a shared laugh, a calm moment, a memory recalled. I also work to remove obstacles, so they feel less overwhelmed.
For care teams, open communication is key. Nurses, aides, social workers, and family members all need to share information and stay aligned on the goals of care. When everyone works together, the experience becomes more connected and less isolating for both the caregiver and the person with dementia.
Take care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Too many caregivers believe they must do it all alone. That belief leads to exhaustion and burnout, which hurts both them and their loved ones.
Self-care doesn’t always mean big breaks. It can be a short walk, a phone call with a friend, or arranging respite care for a few hours. Asking for help is not a weakness. It’s a way of building the strength needed for the long road ahead. Caregivers who learn this early are far more likely to stay resilient.
Paula often reminds families that dementia care is not a straight road. It twists, it turns, and it’s filled with both heartbreak and moments of grace. Families don’t need a set of instructions. They need someone steady beside them, someone who validates their grief, helps with planning, and offers practical tools for daily life.
For caregivers, the biggest shift is twofold: learning to care for themselves while they care for their loved one, and understanding that dementia is about adapting, not controlling. With strong support, thoughtful training, and a collaborative team, caregiving can move from feeling impossible to becoming deeply meaningful.
With over 20 years of experience in both medical and community environments, Paula has built a reputation as a trusted guide for families navigating dementia and end-of-life care. She has served as a Care Navigator at Rippl Care, Assistant Program Manager and Ambulatory Care Navigator with MultiCare Health System, and an Advanced Home Care Aide with DSHS Aging and Disability. Paula is also a grief group facilitator, trainer, and advocate for people living with dementia. She sits on multiple boards, volunteers with community organizations, and dedicates her free time to her grandchildren. What makes Paula stand out is her ability to build trusting relationships, validate emotions, and empower caregivers with the confidence they need to continue this difficult but meaningful journey.
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