Dementia care is messy, unpredictable, and deeply emotional. Families are suddenly navigating a world they never trained for, often with little guidance and even less support. It can feel overwhelming, like you’re walking a tightrope every day. But there are ways to make it manageable, even meaningful.
That’s where Carlyn Lenfestey comes in. She’s spent decades helping caregivers find their footing, providing not just tools, but understanding, reassurance, and practical strategies that actually work in real life.
Carlyn is the founder of A Better Way Dementia Care Solutions, LLC, a physical therapist, a Certified Dementia Practitioner, and a coach.
Here’s what she shared.
Use music. It’s simple, powerful, and incredibly adaptable. You can use upbeat music to get someone moving or lift their energy before a task like bathing. You can play familiar songs from their past to spark memories and conversation. Or you can use calming music to help them wind down in the evening or ease agitation.
The key is to match the music to the moment. It’s not just background noise. It’s a tool for connection, rhythm, and emotional regulation.
It’s pretty incredible to see how technology is evolving. AI and smart tools aren’t replacing caregivers. They’re backing us up in meaningful ways. We’re now seeing sensors that can detect subtle changes in how someone walks or moves, offering early warnings before a fall happens. Some systems can even alert a caregiver if a person with dementia gets out of bed at night, which can be critical for safety.
On the training side, AI is making dementia education more accessible. It’s not a replacement for hands-on support, but it’s helping caregivers build confidence in real-world situations, especially when they can’t attend in-person training.
Bottom line: tech is helping us move from reacting to preventing, and that shift matters.
A big one is relying too much on logic. Dementia affects how the brain processes information and responds to stress. Correcting or explaining often doesn’t help. It usually adds confusion or frustration. What works better is meeting the emotion underneath and responding with calm and comfort.
Another common issue is not having a clear routine or plan for the day. People living with dementia often feel disoriented or anxious, and a consistent rhythm, like mealtimes, rest, movement, and familiar tasks, can provide a real sense of safety. Structure helps both the person with dementia and the caregiver feel more grounded.
And then there’s the tendency to put self-care last. Caregivers skip meals, rest, and connection because they feel guilty or overwhelmed. But without a plan to care for yourself, burnout creeps in fast. Even small, consistent moments like a daily walk or short check-in with a friend can make a huge difference.
– Carlyn (Carlyn McCormack) Lenfestey
The most important thing is to take a breath and ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s a family member, a neighbor, a friend, or a coach, there are always things people can do to support you. And no task is too small. A meal dropped off, a 15-minute break, a phone call, those small things add up.
Start by making a plan. Write down the immediate concerns, the things that can wait, and who you might ask for help. Then take it one step at a time. You don’t need to figure everything out today. You just need to take the next right step and permit yourself to do this in pieces.
I work full-time as a physical therapist in an acute rehab hospital, and I also serve as an educator with our Memory Care Center. As a Certified Dementia Practitioner and a certified trainer through the National Council of Certified Dementia Practitioners, I teach and certify hospital staff to create a truly dementia-friendly facility.
Outside of my clinical hours, on nights and weekends, I coach family caregivers and train professional staff, all with the mission of building a more dementia-friendly world, one interaction at a time.
My grandfather was the first person I ever knew with dementia. I watched my grandmother care for him with everything she had, but she had no guidance, no support, and no understanding of what was really happening to him. She was constantly exhausted, trying to make sense of behaviors that scared and confused her.
That experience stuck with me. It’s why my first step with any family is to look at how the care partner is doing, physically, emotionally, and whether they have a self-care plan at all. You can’t care well for someone else if you’re running on empty. And you can’t respond with empathy or patience if no one has ever explained how dementia affects the brain and changes behavior.
My approach is built on filling those two major gaps: caregiver support and dementia education.
My grandfather was the first person I ever knew with dementia. I watched my grandmother care for him with everything she had, but she had no guidance, no support, and no understanding of what was really happening to him. She was constantly exhausted, trying to make sense of behaviors that scared and confused her.
That experience stuck with me. It’s why my first step with any family is to look at how the care partner is doing, physically, emotionally, and whether they have a self-care plan at all. You can’t care well for someone else if you’re running on empty. And you can’t respond with empathy or patience if no one has ever explained how dementia affects the brain and changes behavior.
My approach is built on filling those two major gaps: caregiver support and dementia education.
One big shift I see is the move toward truly person-centered environments. We’re moving away from clinical, task-focused care and toward spaces designed to support orientation, comfort, and independence. That means clear signage, calming colors, furniture that encourages rest and interaction, and routines built around the person, not just the schedule.
Another important trend is how caregivers are getting support in ways that actually fit into their lives. Microlearning, short, focused videos or audio lessons, is helping caregivers build real skills in five minutes here and there, rather than needing to carve out hours for traditional training. It’s flexible, accessible, and empowering, and it’s helping more people feel confident in the care they provide.
I was inspired to start A Better Way because I saw firsthand what so many caregivers face: a lack of information and a lack of support. Families are handed a diagnosis, maybe a pamphlet, and then expected to figure it all out. I wanted to change t hat. My goal is to make sure caregivers feel equipped, not just with tools, but with understanding and confidence.
The core message I hope they take away is this: You can create a meaningful, workable day with the person you care for. It’s not about fixing dementia. It’s about finding better ways to live with it, together.
What Carlyn’s wordsremind us is that dementia care isn’t about perfection or fixing what can’t be fixed. It’s about presence, patience, and making small changes that ripple out into real comfort and connection. Caregivers don’t have to carry it alone, and a little guidance can go a long way. Carlyn shows that with empathy, structure, and self-care, it’s possible to create days that are not just survivable, but meaningfulfor the person living with dementia and the caregiver who supports them.
Carlyn is a dementia care expert, physical therapist, educator, and caregiver coach with over 20 years of experience. She provides education and coaching to both family and professional caregivers, specializing in fall prevention, mobility, and dementia care best practices. As the founder of A Better Way Dementia Care Solutions, LLC, she is dedicated to empowering caregivers, improving patient outcomes, and fostering meaningful connections in dementia care.
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