Dementia care can feel overwhelming at times. But even in challenging stages, there are ways to preserve dignity, promote autonomy, and find moments of connection and joy.
Maureen Braen is CPXP, CDP, PAC-CDE/L, CMDCP, CDSGF, CADDCT, and the founder of RISE Dementia Care in Bergen County, New Jersey, who discusses strength-based care and tips that people who care can use.
Maureen has over 15 years of experience in health care and senior living. She focuses on ways that respect the person’s identity while helping care partners.
Keep reading to know her insights.
I believe that strength-based dementia care begins with remembering that the disease changes the brain. But it does not lessen an individual’s humanity, identity, choice, and need for connection.
Memory, language, and thinking may change, but not emotions. There is still the need to feel respected, competent, connected, and secure.
This kind of care implies knowing what supports an individual and applying it. Some ways to do it are:
Keep in mind the Montessori philosophy: What you do for them takes away from them. When we step in, even out of love, it may deprive them of the opportunities to do things themselves.
It is important to help them do things, not necessarily do them perfectly or entirely on their own. To assist them:
When we pause and honor their desire to help, we preserve:
Strength-based care does not ignore change. It means meeting the person where they are in the moment, recognizing the abilities they bring, and treating them with respect and dignity.
This journey carries layers of grief. Grief over what is happening now, for years that will change, and for plans that will not happen as expected. That loss may be silent, but the transformation can feel unsteady.
Grief is accompanied by fear. Fear of the next step, fear of losing further, fear of making the wrong choice, fear of not being good enough.
Connection does not erase the fear or grief that often comes with this journey. Many of the situations that partners find frustrating are expressions of confusion, anxiety, or a brain that can no longer process information the way it once did. When we begin to look at those moments differently, our response often shifts.
Instead of correcting or pushing harder, we slow down, offer reassurance, and focus on helping the person feel safe. Communication may change with dementia, but the need for connection does not. Often, the most meaningful moments come from something simple: sitting together, offering comfort, and protecting the relationship that still matters.
For me, dignity and autonomy live in everyday moments. They are not the major choices that influence the experience of a person; they are the tone we use, the pace we set, and the assumptions we make. The desire to have a voice and to feel a part of something does not disappear even when a person requires support. Autonomy may look different, but the desire to be respected remains.
An important part of preserving dignity is remembering that this is an adult who has lived a full life. They raised families, built careers, cared for others, and made decisions long before dementia entered the picture. That history does not disappear. When we honor preferences, routines, and long-standing habits, we are acknowledging that personhood.
Sometimes this shows up in how we offer choices. Instead of asking broad questions, we make options clear and manageable.
“Would you like the blue sweater or the gray one?”
At a restaurant, “The burger sounds good, and so does the roasted chicken. Which would you prefer?” We also give the brain time to respond, allowing pauses instead of rushing in to fill the silence. Supporting independence often means offering one step at a time and inviting participation rather than taking over.
The environment can help as well. Laying clothes out in order, keeping familiar items in place, and reducing unnecessary clutter can quietly support a person’s ability to stay involved in everyday life. Independence in dementia care is rarely about doing everything alone. It is about maintaining voice, preference, and presence in small decisions that shape daily life.
Joy in dementia care is often quieter than people expect. It might show up when a favorite song plays, and someone begins to move to the rhythm in the kitchen. Sometimes it is a shared laugh that neither of you expected. And sometimes it is even simpler than that. Sitting side by side. Holding a hand. Not needing to fix anything in that moment.
Some days are heavy. But even on difficult days, there are often small stretches of time when things settle, and everyone can just be together. I have learned that when I stop trying to manage every moment, when I resist the urge to correct or push, and when I allow space for presence, those moments have room to appear.
Joy does not mean everything is easy. It means the connection is still there. And sometimes, that is more than enough.
I hear a lot: I do not know whether I am doing it right or if I should be doing it better. The fact is that there is no dementia care script. What was effective last month might not be effective the next, and that can make any care partner question themselves.
When you feel overwhelmed, it does not imply that you are not doing well. It is to say that it is hard work, and you are trying to keep pace with something that is continually changing. Caring for a person living with dementia is not easy, and it requires the ability to shift and adjust.
You will have times when you wish you could have done things differently. That is what it means to take care of a person whose brain is changing. Dementia care is about relationships. This is one of the things that I am passionate about: you shouldn’t to be doing it alone.
One of the most important things care partners can do is build support around them. This is not a journey meant to be carried by one person alone. Sometimes that support comes from sharing decisions with family members, so the responsibility does not fall on one set of shoulders.
Sometimes it comes from joining a caregiver support group, where you can sit with others who truly understand what this experience is like. These spaces are not about complaining. They are about learning from one another, sharing what is working, and realizing you are not the only one figuring things out along the way.
Over time, many care partners realize that “doing enough” rarely looks like perfection. It looks like showing up day after day, adjusting as things change, and allowing others to stand beside you. Having even a small circle of support can make a tremendous difference for both the care partner and the person they love.
As Maureen shared, being a care partner to someone living with dementia requires patience, understanding, and innovation. The most important things that caregivers can do to make a difference daily:
Care partners can bring meaning to everyday moments by noticing strengths, welcoming participation, honoring routines, and building support around them. This journey is not meant to be carried alone. What matters most is showing up with compassion, patience, and a willingness to adjust along the way.
Maureen Braen, CPXP, CDP, PAC-CDE/L, CMDCP, CDSGF, CADDCT Founder, RISE Dementia Care
Maureen Braen founded RISE Dementia Care to assist communities, individuals living with dementia, and their care partners. She helps them through education, training, and consulting. Maureen has over 15 years of experience in senior living and health care.
Maureen has numerous professional qualifications, including Certified Dementia Practitioner (CDP), Certified Montessori Dementia Care Professional (CMDCP), Certified Dementia Support Group Facilitator (CDSGF), Certified Alzheimer’s Disease Dementia Care Trainer (CADDCT), and Certified Patient Experience Professional (CPXP). She is a Positive Approach to Care Certified Dementia Educator, Independent Coach, Trainer, Consultant, and Advanced Consultant. Maureen is a member of the Dementia Friendly Initiative Action Committee in Bergen County, where she provides families and professionals with a clear, compassionate, and connected way to navigate dementia.
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